Some of you may know that my husband and I are licensed for foster care. Our current little guy, that we loving refer to as C-man in public, has been with us for over a year and a half now. We have had some good times, and we have gone through some ugly times. All part of the fostering process. Recently, we have switch to trying to be ultra-consistent with C-man when it comes to consequences. One, so I can try to keep my calm better. And two, to help him connect the dots between behavior and consequences. Sigh. It’s amazing how you can go from normal day to shaking in frustration in 60 seconds.
So many people share with me how they feel like they aren’t the best parents and don’t know how we do what we do. Let me just take a moment to share this – parenting isn’t about doing everything right all the time; it’s about love. As a matter of fact, our children need to see us mess up, get angry, feel sad, shed tears, fail, even hurt others. Sounds crazy right? But it’s in the moments that follow all those things that really teaches our children most skills they need for life. They need to see us fix what we have messed up. They need to see how we act and calm down when we are angry. They need to see us reach out for comfort when we are sad. They need to learn that emotions are real and okay, even when the tears are flowing. They need to see us handle failure and then get up and try again. And they learn the value of humbleness and forgiveness when they see us rectify a wrong we have done to others.
So, just for moment, give yourself a break. Perfect parents are not those who never find themselves instantly annoyed at something their kids are doing; they are not those who appear happy all the time. Perfect parents are parents who are real people with real moments who show their children that mistakes do not define us but help us to learn and grow. You and I, we love out kids. Our kids know we love them. When they hurt, they come to us. When they fail, they hear our voices telling them it will be okay. And because they have seen us move forward, they can be sure that they can too!!!
So, here’s to imperfect perfection! Cheers!
Nikki, The Skinny Wrap Mom
Read my story here.